Elderly Indians are getting into live-in relationships since No strings attached

M Rajeswari and Damodar Rao had a simple garland exchange ceremony before they moved in

M Rajeswari had been searching for a suitable partner for Damodar Rao for nearly two years before she found the perfect match. The retired school teacher had started Thodu Needa, an agency to help single or widowed elderly men and women find a companion for themselves and Rao, 64, a retired bank manager, was one of her clients. As she met him again to discuss what he was looking for in a companion, the widower explained to her that he wanted an independent and enterprising partner, someone who would share his interest in education.

Somewhere during the course of the conversation, Rao looked up and they both knew in that instant that they were thinking of the same thing. Rajeswari fit the description to perfection. “Little had I known when I started this, that I would end up finding a companion for myself,” says the now-66-year-old Hyderabad resident. Since Thodu Needa began operations in December 2010, Rajeswari has helped facilitate matches for nearly 200 couples over the age of 50, with nearly 95 per cent of them, including Rao and Rajeswari, opting for live-in relationships rather than formal weddings.

In a 2012 report released jointly by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) and Help Age International, it is estimated that by 2050, India and China will have about 80 per cent of the world’s elderly population. Currently, about 12 per cent of India’s population is over 60. Significant improvements in the quality of healthcare has also meant that the lifespan of an average individual has increased. Increasingly, after retirement and the loss of a spouse, a large number of elderly men and women are now finding themselves with too much time on hand and not many people to turn to.

 Rajeswari is one such instance. Married at the age of 13 to a 21-year-old man, Rajeswari separated from her husband after 17 years of marriage. She returned to her parents’ house with three children, and resumed her education. She went on to do a post-graduation in Telugu literature and joined a zilla parishad school afterwards. It was after her retirement, when she went to live with her eldest son in New Delhi, that she felt the first pangs of loneliness. “I started to think of people like me who are single and feel a need for companionship at this stage of life,” she says. She returned to Hyderabad, her comfort zone, and started Thodu Needa. “I had hired a hall, but had no money to pay for it. I charged a fee of Rs 300 per person to cover the rent. One of the local newspapers carried a small report of the upcoming meet and on that day, to my surprise, about 70 people turned up from all over the state. Some had travelled nearly 300 km to attend the event,” she says.

http://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/feelings/no-strings-attached-why-elderly-indians-are-getting-into-live-in-relationships/99/print/